From my research I understand when we fall in love with a narcissist, and are in the love bombing stage, they mirror back to us our likes, dislikes, hopes, and dreams. They love the same activities we do, and share in the same belief system we have. They say we actually fall in love with ourselves, which is one of the reasons that the discard or escape is so painful. We thought we had found the perfect life partner. We did, we were just confused as to who that really was.
So let’s take that one step further. If we fell in love with the mirror image of ourselves, and they showered us with the things they knew we loved because we told them we loved them, then didn’t we already fall in love with ourselves? We mourn the loss of the dream, but since we were the dream we wanted; then we are mourning for no reason? We are still here; a bit bruised and broken, but still standing.
I know that may seem like it over simplifies it a tad, but we have to tell ourselves that we were already in a wonderful relationship with ourselves all along. The narc just held a mirror up for us to see, and then when it became too big of a burden for them to hold it up any longer, they dropped it and shattered our dream right along with the mirror. But I am here to say, we are still here! Go get your own personal hand held mirror and fall in love with the person you see looking back at you. That is who you were in love with all along anyway. They really didn’t exist as they presented themselves.
Maybe, just maybe, by holding this truth in our hearts, we can begin to let them go easier, and put them in our past, where they belong. Maybe by realizing this one fact, we fell in love with ourselves; we can begin to find the peace and happiness that seemed to elude us all these years.
Take a long hard look at the guy or gal staring back from the mirror and say, “I remember you…..you are awesome! Thank you for coming back in my life. I have been waiting for you!” We hold the key to this. We can keep hanging on to the illusion, or let it go, and go fall in love with the reality of you!
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