As I watched various relationships end this year, and binged watched a TV show called “Fatal Vows” I am amazed at how many damaged souls are out there wrecking other people’s lives or sabotaging their own life. I see now how in some cases it truly is a matter of life and death to conquer loving yourself.
The couples in the “Fatal Vows” shows all had one thing in common; A broken soul with no self love met up with a narcissist/sociopath broken soul and it cost one of them their life. Guess which one? Until we learn to love ourselves, I think getting into a relationship could possibly be life threatening. I saw where in a few of those shows how I would have fallen victim to some of those men and their tactics.
Another thought also hit me by watching those shows and the demise of other long term relationships; is that relationships even the good ones will all come to an end either by death, divorce, or drama; so learning how to master the art of letting go is vital for anyone’s survival. As I did some online reading about healthy ways of letting go, the common trait they all had, was love of self.
Damn, apparently there is no escaping it – we must learn to love ourselves first. It appears to be the foundation on which everything in your life is built on. Since my foundation was apparently made of quick sand, it’s no wonder none of my marriages worked out and they swallowed me up when they ended.
Self love is the filter of which everything we choose to have in our lives is based on. If you are not sure if you love yourself, look around at the people, things, events that are happening in your life. Do they reflect someone who loves themselves? No excuses – do they reflect self love?
As I look through that filter in my life, I can see where there will be some letting go of things that no longer serve my higher good. It will be sad to let them go, and I am sure it will be hard in some circumstances, but it’s time to start laying a new foundation for my life, and truly embrace “self love.”
To quote Billy Joel on loving your own soul:
"It's all about soul It's all about joy that comes out of sorrow It's all about soul Who's standing now and who's standing tomorrow You've got to be hard Hard as the rock in that old rock 'n' roll But that's only part, you know in your heart It's all about soul."
You are right ..we have to learn to love ourselves and it’s so very hard to do. Why? Because of a lifetime of people telling us that we are not worthy ..family members usually the worst..Plus the constant marketing towards than woman .. makes one feel a little bit less than acceptable . And I am totally understating that . Also, I have to be honest, I agree with the fact that most relationships end badly and that includes death! I wish I wasn’t such a cynic ..Because I’m probably putting up a force field between me and any possible connections!